I saw a meme the other day that said, “Going on vacation with kids is just parenting in a different state,” and honestly, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. My husband and I recently took our three kids to San Diego, and let me tell you, it did feel like a lot of work—between all the packing, planning activities, and dealing with the mountain of laundry afterward. But here’s the thing: as much as it was a lot, it was also totally worth it.

What made the difference? A simple mindset shift. I had to consciously decide to let go of certain expectations and really lean into enjoying the small, everyday moments. It wasn’t always easy, but here’s what helped me make the most of our trip.

1. Carve Out a Little Me-Time Every Day

One of the biggest things that helped keep me sane was making sure both my husband and I had some time to ourselves each day—even if it was just 5 minutes. We agreed it was important so we didn’t burn out from all the running around. One morning that stands out for me was when I woke up early, grabbed the dogs, and went for a quiet walk through the fog-covered campground. No phone, no noise—just me, the cool morning air, and my thoughts. It helped me reset before the day’s chaos kicked in.

Action Step: If you’re planning a trip (or even just getting through your busy week!), try scheduling at least 5 minutes a day to do something just for you. It’s amazing how even a small break can give you the energy you need.

2. Reflect at the End of Each Day

At the end of every day, my husband and I would talk about how things went—what worked, what didn’t, and how we felt about everything. One night, I was really beating myself up over letting the kids have too much screen time (you know how it goes), and just talking it out made such a difference. By reflecting on it, I could see that it wasn’t the end of the world and was able to let go of the guilt that had been hanging over me all day.

Action Step: Whether you’re on vacation or managing your busy everyday life, try taking 10 minutes at night to reflect. Journaling or chatting with your partner about the highs and lows can help clear your mind and reset for the next day.

3. Try Something New (And Have Fun With It!)

I didn’t expect it, but I totally fell back in love with bike riding on this trip. It’s something I don’t do much of at home, probably because it’s always so hot, but being on vacation gave me the chance to rediscover it. It was freeing and fun in a way I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Doing something new—or something you haven’t done in a while—can make all the difference in shifting your mindset and adding joy to the trip.

Action Step: If you’re feeling a little worn out on vacation (or even in your daily routine), try something novel or adventurous. It doesn’t have to be big—just something that brings a spark back into your day.

4. Focus on What You Can Control

Sure, vacation with kids comes with its fair share of unpredictability. Things don’t always go according to plan, and there were definitely moments on our trip when I had to remind myself to let go of what I couldn’t control. Instead of stressing over everything, I tried to focus on enjoying the small moments—whether it was a quiet cup of coffee in the morning or a laugh with the kids while we built sandcastles.

Action Step: The next time you’re on vacation (or even dealing with a hectic day at home), try to shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. Even the smallest moments can bring joy if you let them.

5. Remember to Be Kind to Yourself

Last but not least, give yourself some grace. It’s easy to get caught up in the feeling that everything has to be perfect on vacation, but that’s not realistic. I had to remind myself several times during the trip that it was okay if things didn’t go exactly as planned. We’re all doing the best we can, and sometimes, just getting through the day is enough.

Action Step: Be kind to yourself, mama. Whether you’re on vacation or navigating the everyday craziness, it’s okay to relax your standards and enjoy the moment.

Shifting Your Mindset Can Make All the Difference

Family vacations can be stressful, but they don’t have to be. With a few simple mindset shifts, you can turn what feels like “parenting in a different state” into a meaningful and joyful experience. By carving out me-time, reflecting, trying new things, focusing on what you can control, and being kind to yourself, you can actually enjoy your vacation. It might take a little extra effort, but it’s worth it.

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