I thought I had my nervous system regulation figured out.

I mean, I talk about this stuff all the time. Mindfulness? Built into my day. Movement? A non-negotiable. Rest? Prioritized (or so I thought).

And for the most part, it worked.

Until one night last week when I found myself wide awake at 2 AM, heart racing, mind spinning, stuck in a loop of ‘what ifs.’

I had a big project coming up—a podcast interview—and suddenly, my brain decided it was the perfect time to remind me of every possible way I could mess it up. What if I sound unprepared? What if I forget what I want to say? What if I’m not as good as I think I am?

And because I hadn’t been tending to my body and mind before the pressure hit, my nervous system went straight into high alert. It wasn’t just anxious thoughts—it was a full-body stress response.

And here’s the thing – No amount of positive thinking was going to pull me out of it.

Why Our Usual Coping Tools Don’t Always Work

Most of the advice out there tells us to just “stay positive” or “take deep breaths” when we feel overwhelmed. And while those things can help, they often don’t work when we’re already dysregulated—when our nervous system is in fight, flight, or freeze mode.

That’s because regulation isn’t just about thinking differently—it’s about working with your body. When your nervous system perceives a threat (even if that “threat” is just a big project or an important conversation), it triggers a physiological response. And no amount of willpower can override a body that thinks it’s in danger.

So instead of trying to force my way into calm, I did something different.

How to Get Out of a Stress Spiral (In the Moment)

When you’re already in fight, flight, or freeze, trying to think your way out isn’t going to cut it. Instead, engage a different sensory experience to send the signal- You are safe. You can handle this. There are no lions, tigers or bears running after you.

1. Reframe the Inner Dialogue (But Make It Embodied)

This isn’t about slapping affirmations on top of panic. It’s about getting your whole system on board with a new perspective.

• Instead of fighting the anxiety, name it – “I feel my heart racing. That means my body is giving me energy to show up for this.”

• Add movement to the reframe – Pace the room as you say, “I am capable of handling this.” Walking while repeating something shifts the experience from just a thought to something your body can feel.

• Use a power pose – Hands on hips, shoulders back, deep breath in—this changes your physical stance, which sends cues to your brain that you’re safe.

2. Use a Body-Based Reset

The fastest way to calm your nervous system? Don’t just breathe—move.

If you feel restless (fight/flight response) –

✅ Shake it out – Stand up and shake your arms, legs, and torso like you’re shaking off water. This discharges excess adrenaline.

✅ Try the VOO sound – Take a deep breath, then let out a long, low “voooooo” sound. This activates the vagus nerve and signals safety to your body.

✅ Run your hands under cold water – This shifts your focus from your thoughts to a physical sensation.

If you feel shut down (freeze response) –

✅ Press your feet into the ground – Focus on the sensation of contact. Wiggle your toes. This brings you back into your body.

✅ Engage a strong sensory experience – Hold an ice cube, smell peppermint oil (or these are some of my other favorite oils), or sip something hot. Temperature shifts can snap your nervous system out of freeze.

✅ Stretch + breathe – Slowly stretch your arms overhead and take a long exhale—this tells your nervous system there’s no threat.

3. Shift Your Language (Gently, Not Forcefully)

Your brain listens to how you talk about something. Small shifts can make a big impact.

Instead of “I have to do this,” try “I GET to share something valuable.“

Instead of “What if I mess up?” try ““What if I connect with just one person who needs to hear this?”

If your brain resists the new thought, soften it –

Instead of “I am confident,” try “I’m learning to trust myself.”

Instead of “I am ready,” try “I’m open to doing my best.”

Long-Term Practices – How to Build a System That Supports You

It’s one thing to handle stress in the moment, but real nervous system regulation happens in the small, consistent habits that keep your baseline steady. Here’s what I focus on –

1. Daily Nervous System Check-Ins

Before stress takes over, start noticing how you feel throughout the day.

• In the morning – What’s my energy like right now?

• Mid-day – Do I feel tense, wired, sluggish?

• Evening – What does my body need before I rest?

The more you check in, the faster you catch early signs of dysregulation—so you can shift before you spiral.

2. Moving Every Day (Not Just for Exercise, But for Regulation)

Your nervous system needs movement—not for fitness, but for emotional processing.

• Walking – Gentle, rhythmic movement calms the system.

• Shaking/dancing – Discharges stress.

• Stretching – Tells your body, “We’re safe. We can relax now.” (Tip, wait for the yawn, it’s your body’s cue that you are feeling safe.)

3. Creating Sensory Routines That Signal Safety

If you want your nervous system to trust that you’re safe, give it familiar cues every day.

• Morning grounding – Hold a warm mug, listen to soft music, stretch.

• Mid-day reset – Step outside, feel the air on your skin, take a full-body breath.

• Evening wind-down – Dim lights, sip tea, do slow breathing before bed.

Final Reminders –

Your nervous system isn’t the enemy—it’s just trying to keep you safe. The key isn’t forcing yourself to “calm down” but learning how to work with your body instead of against it.

If this resonated, I talk about these topics and others in my newsletter:

Because the goal isn’t just to push through stress—it’s to build a life where your nervous system feels safe to relax.